The World of Love Languages

-Sofia S

Intern, Mind Splatters, Jan - April, 2024

Affection, care, love- these are things we primarily expect from our partners. When it comes to love, expressing it in a way our partner needs, takes preference over how much we express it.

Here’s where love languages come in, the 5 ways to give and receive love, which include words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service and physical touch.

Let’s dive into what each of these entails!

Words of Affirmation

This love language includes partners feeling loved on receiving verbal acknowledgements like compliments, encouraging phrases, “I love you’s” and the like! It could also extend to digital communication like texting.

For example, telling your partner that you’re proud of them for achieving something!

Quality Time

Active listening, deep eye contact and full presence of mind make the perfect concoction for a person who loves quality time. If you are always willing to hang out without any distractions and express that desire, the love language is met!

For example, spending an evening engaging in a hobby that your partner enjoys.

Acts of Service

If your partner finds this to be their love language, they want you to go out of your way to do things for you. ”Actions speak louder than words” is a principle they live by! Show them you care by picking up their laundry on your way home, and making them food on a sick day.

Gifts

While this love language is misunderstood as based on its monetary quantity, it is actually more about the thought behind giving a gift. The consideration as to what gift would be best fitted, making a choice, and connecting that choice to the significance of the relationship- it all counts and is highly valuable as compared to the cost itself!

For example, surprising your partner with something handmade on a special day!

Physical Touch

Hugs, kisses, cuddles- the ultimate safe haven for those who find physical touch to be their love language. Any form of physical contact for them is extremely reassuring and allows them to connect deeply even on an emotional level upon receiving it.

For example, guiding your partner in public by gently reaching for their hand and holding on to it!

Now that we’ve understood the love languages, here’s some food for thought!

Why are love languages important?

Comprehending your love language and that of your partner can make a world of difference to your relationship! It creates a two-way system where both partners understand what is valued and what is disliked.

Not only is it important to be loved the right way, it is equally as important to express love as needed by your partner, so as to keep the relationship positive!

Much like our attachment style, our love languages too, develop during our childhood. Fostering a safe space to feel love, appreciation and stability comes with better communication of how one likes to receive love.

Lastly, your love language is yours and does not determine what your partner’s may be. So, take some time out to acknowledge and speak the love language that speaks to them!